Terrorized At School

By: Annagail Lynes

I stood in line at a football game, donning my jacket to brave another right down chilly Phoenix night. My high school was about to make it into the play-offs. I could hear the band playing, and the cheerleaders practicing their cheers. Then it happened. Someone came behind me and yanked my long hair so hard that my eyes watered unvoluntarily. Then she hurled insults and accusations at me. With every word she spoke, she made me feel more unworthy and guilty for being me. At that moment, I wished I had been someone else. I kept thinking that if I was just good enough, people wouldn’t pick on me anymore.

The truth is that even if I had took a magic wand and changed who I was, she would have still found something about me that she didn’t like. Bullies are equal opportunity people. They pick on you whether you are white, black, Hispanic, female, male, tall, short, skinny (I know from experience!), heavy…it doesn’t matter to them. Most do as a way to make themselves feel better while making you feel worse.

Two-thirds of students who shoot their classmates and teachers do so because they were tired of being bullied. Some don’t want to attend school because they don’t want to picked on. Some become anorexic, bulemic, cutters, depressed and even sucidial. They’d do anything to mask the pain. Their self-esteem plummets. It becomes non-existent.

What are school administrators doing about bullies? Although some schools have instituted zero-tolerance policies when it comes to bullies, most schools are not taking bullying seriously.

First let’s define bullying. What is it? Bullying can take many forms.

The abuse can be physical, verbal or it can be as simple as deliberately keeping you out of a group. The abuse hurts its victims, perhaps scaring them for life. The victims are usually unable to defend themselves effectively. The abuse can involve demanding something from you, such as your money, damaging of your property or name calling.

At one time or another we have all been bullied, been humilated at the hands of someone who thought they were better than us. If you can’t think of a time, can you remember a time when someone spread vicious rumors about you? That, too, is considered bullying. Why? Because those rumors deliberately excluded you from a group of people that you wanted to hang out with.

You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. No human being does. You are unique and special just the way God created you with your personality traits, with your abilities, talents and views of the world. Being unique is a gift from God.

Bullies don’t want you to be unique. They want you to be like them. They are afraid of anyone and anything that is different from them. After being bullied for a long time, you will wonder what is wrong with you. You will wonder what you did to deserve their wrath. Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you, and you did nothing to deserve their anger.

But there is somethings you can do about it:

• Stay away from bullies. I know it is easier than it sounds. If you know someone doesn’t like you, keep away from them. If they get in your face, ignore them and walk away. Bullies want you to react so don’t. Leave the situation as quickly as you can.
• Tell someone. Make sure it is someone you trust and who can help you. Can’t tell them in person? Write a note. Tell them what happened to you, what you did, who bullied you, if there were witnesses, where it happened and how often. If the bully physically harmed you, see the school nurse or a doctor right away. Ask them to write the experience down on your official record.
• Avoid places where you know the person hangs out. If you know that they take one route to and from school, take another. Make a conscious effort not to be alone in the hallways, locker room, restrooms or empty classrooms. Have someone else walk with you to and from school or ride with you to school. Don’t bring expensive belongings or money to school, and be careful who you give your phone number and address to.
• Be confident. Believe in yourself. Try to rationalize with them. Speak firmly and be short. If you can, use humor. Stay calm and don’t fight back. Stooping and avoiding eye contact will only make you look nervous. Stand up straight, look them in the eye and walk proudly.

If you do, you will be less likely to be bullied.

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