By: Annagail Lynes
My two best friends, Miranda and Brenda, had similiar interests. They both took German as their foreign language class. They both volunteered at the police department. They both were involved with a Star Trek club. They even had parents who were older than most of the other students’ parents. The more they spent time together, the more left out I felt. I was jealous of their relationship. I felt frustrated, angry and rejected.
Have you ever wanted something your friend had? Maybe you liked her boyfriend. Perhaps you wished you had her looks. Maybe it was his basketball skills. Have you ever wanted it so bad you could taste it? That you dreamed about it? That’s jealousy.
According to The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, being jealous is defined as “1. Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position. 2. a. Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious: jealous of the success of others. b. Inclined to suspect rivalry. 3. Having to do with or arising from feelings of envy,
apprehension, or bitterness:”
I was fearful of losing my position as their friend. I was resentful that they share similar interests. I had rising feelings of apprehension that I was going to be left out in the cold. And in the end, my fear came to pass. Not at that moment, but years down the road. Had I been a bit more accepting, more understanding, would I still have my friends? I don’t
know. I wasn’t myself with them. And I don’t need friends who I am always trying to impress. I need friends who I can be me with… and if they can’t accept me for me, then that’s their loss. If you are always having to impress your friends, how can you ever turn to them when you are in need?
The first example we see of jealousy in the Bible is Cain. Cain was jealous that God accepted his brother Abel’s sacrifice and not his. In a fit of jealousy, what did Cain do? He killed Abel.
Jacob was jealous that his brother Esau was to receive the first born blessing, so he swindled his brother out of the birthright.
Hannah was jealous of Peninnah, her husband’s other wife, because Peninnah.could have child and she couldn’t. But instead of killing Peninnah or doing Peninnah harm, Hannah cried out to God for a son and God granted her request. And He gave her more children than she prayed for.
Rachel was jealous of Leah. Sarah of Hagar. In the Old Testament, it was the barren woman being jealous of those who could have children.
The Pharisees were jealous of Jesus and plotted to kill Him. The Prodigal son’s brother was jealous because the Prodigal son comes home after wasting all his money and is welcomed with a big feast. The brother who had worked his father’s estate all along and never left his father didn’t get anything.
From these examples, it is clear that being jealous is just an emotion. It is what you choose to do with it that is the issue. You can do like Cain and Jacob and take revenge on the person. Or you can be like Hannah, Sarah and Rachel and call out to God for a miracle. Jealousy is just an emotion, and as with every other emotions, you have to control it instead of it controlling you.
But how do you control jealousy?
First of all, take your journal and pour out all your feelings. Write down every feeling and desire that comes to mind. Sometimes just seeing what you feel down on paper helps you to realize how destructive jealousy can be.
Then go to God and talk to Him about your feelings of jealousy.
The writer of Hebrews states in chapter four, verses fourteen through sixteen, “Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”
Jesus, who is now our High Priest, was tempted in all points like us. Only He never sinned. Having the feelings aren’t sin. It is what you do about them that is sin.
After talking to God, write down a list of five things you are grateful for. Do this every day. Go over your list every morning and evening. They don’t have to be big things that you are grateful. They could be something as simple as being grateful that the store has fresh apples.
As the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months, your jealousy will slowly turn into gratefulness. You won’t be as focused on what you don’t have. Instead you will be grateful for what you do have. And being grateful somehow has a way of bringing you what you need when you need it and much more.
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