By: Courtney Gilmour
Last night I was in Heaven.
As I laid in bed and closed my eyes, a cloak of darkness swept over me and I was at rest. With a sense of calm and stillness that can really only be felt, never described. When I opened my eyes, only moments later, I found myself standing amidst a milky haze of vaporized cloud; whiter than pearl, pure and thin, flowing around and in front of me. Swift and graceful, like a seasonal wind. Inhaling deeply, I stretched out my arms wide to embrace, as it enveloped me in a momentary exertion of cool air, stilling my heart beat and intoxicating me with a melange of sweet fragrances; sage, jasmine, and ginger. The billowing clouds began to swirl rapidly in a funnel-like formation, mesmerizing me in a perpetual dance, until they gradually diminished into a faint blanched residue of permeating frost. Out of the thick, vanishing fog I saw before me a throne, encircled by a rainbow, resembling an emerald. Directly across from it lay a sea of glass, clear as crystal, laden with every jewel imaginable, glistening and shining with iridescence. There was a man seated on the throne, dressed in a white robe and purple sash, and as I looked up to see his face, flashes of lightning struck down from above and I heard peals of thunder rumbling behind me. And when our eyes met, I knew who He was, and I instantly fell to my knees. He called to me in a voice that was tender, yet echoed with authority, and I couldn’t help but feel drawn to the sound. Trembling, I rose to my feet.
“Come, my child,” he said, “Do not be afraid.”
So I went to Him, with timid, uneasy steps, and as I approached His throne He reached out to me with nail scarred hands and pulled me into His arms, like a father would with his youngest daughter. I was a little girl again. I was safe. He wrapped His arms around me and looked at me with eyes of compassion, eyes of mercy, eyes that had seen more contempt and hatred in the world than I would ever know. Eyes of gentleness, a kind of gentleness that can’t even be explained. His voice was soft, though his mouth did not move as he asked, “Why do you cry?”
I had not noticed the tears streaming down my cheeks, but there was no need to reply, He already knew. He read my thoughts before they even surfaced and for this reason I felt no inclination to speak. “Do not be short of faith,” he said to me firmly, and continued on to answer the next question that was ready on my lips. “You know the plans I have for you will not fail. Go where I tell you, and I will provide.”
Those words resounded in my head as I listened closely, not wanting to miss a word He said. I wanted to tell Him so many things, there was so much more to inquire, so much to be said. I wanted to stay with Him and be comforted, but I knew that I couldn’t. We sat for just a few moments longer and He reminded me of where I belonged for the time being, and the people who love me, and the purpose He has for me. Once again I was surrounded by the whirring cloud, flowing over me like a gown, so thick and white, blurring my vision until He faded out of sight and I felt myself drifting away. I looked up one last time to see His face before it disappeared out of view, but it was replaced with a blazing light, shining with luminance, too bright for me to cast my gaze. My eyelids were forced shut, but when they reopened the blinding light was still there. Streaming it’s golden warmth through my window, and onto my smiling face. The throne was not there. The aroma was gone. But His presence was still with me. And it was a new day.
“Come unto Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
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