By: Annagail Lynes
After pen palling for many years, I received a letter from a man a few years older than me. We developed a friendship and a little over a year later, we were dating.
Now with the Internet, we can make acquaintances in chat rooms, via email, and because we can send messages back and forth far quicker than we can send letter, our relationships with people accelerate at an alarming rate. It’s like putting friendship in the microwave, adding water and cooking it for five minutes. Poof! An instant friendship. This way wasn’t instant enough for some people, so now we have companies who introduce you to potential mates on-line.
You only have a picture and the details that the person has given you. When you meet these people, they could be anyone-a mass murder, sexually predator, an old man who is dying in three weeks.
What proof do you have that they are who they say they are? What proof do they have that you are who you say that you are?
So the relationship you think is based on trust and friendship could actually be based on a foundation of lies. Developing a relationship with a person online is a lot like meeting a person while blind. No amount of feeling their face is going to help you see who is in front of you.
In an online friendship or relationship, you only have the facts that are presented to you, whether they are true or false. Without doing some research into the person’s past, you could be looking at an inadequate portrait of this person.
I suppose that on-line dating isn’t much different than marriages in ancient days, and even still today, where the person doesn’t see their future spouse until the wedding day. Now why, as Believers of Christ, would this present a problem?
It’s because it takes God out of the process. You see, God has a mate in mind for you. Genesis tells us that it is not good that man (or woman) be alone. You have a choice whether you want to be married or not, in the future.
God is pro-choice. Jesus died so that you could have the choice to accept Him or not. But if you do, God has a person in mind for you.
And contrary to popular belief, the person God has in mind for you will never , under any circumstances, be a member of the same sex. He will always put a man and a woman together. Never a man with a man or a woman with a woman. That just isn’t the way God operates.
However, on-line dating takes God out of the process. Using on-line dating and personal ads, calling up singles lines is like taking the law into your own hands. Although it may accomplish the same thing, it comes with consequences.
What happens if you met a person who you like and who likes you? Everything is going well for a while, but if this isn’t the person God has for you, there will be problems. Not the normal problems of a regular relationship.
Do you remember Samson and Delilah? God had told Samson’s people not to get involved with the Philistine women. What did Samson do? He fell in love with a Philistine woman. All she wants was the secret to his strength, and in the end, she was his downfall.
God has person in mind for you who is compatible with you, who shares your dreams, who will encourage you to be the person God created you to be, and who will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone.
Above all, the person God has for you will be a sold-out Christian. Not the lukewarm ones like those you find in Christian singles group and in on-line dating circles.
Many people claim to be Christians-every religion from the Seven Day Adventists to the Jehovah Witnesses call themselves Christians. Unless they have accepted Jesus into their hearts, they are Christians in name only.
God is not against finding love. He created love. He wants us to know love. However, He is concerned when we do not wait for the person He has for us and settle for anyone that comes along.
God promised Abraham an heir. Abraham and his wife Sarah became discouraged, frustrated and desperate while waiting on God. Sarah reasoned that maybe God wasn’t going to bring the heir through her womb, so she gave Abraham another wife-her servant Hagar. Abraham had a son through Hagar, yes, but that son was not the promised heir. And to this day because of Abraham and Sarah’s impatience, the descendants of Hagar’s son Ishmael and Sarah’s son Isaac have been at war.
It is important that ever when you are frustrated, discouraged and impatient that you wait on the person God has for you. If you do, you will save yourself the heartache of breaking-up, a lot of misery and pain. God’s best for you is always worth the wait even though it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
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