Selfishness in Prayer

By Trisha Bleau Smith

I have a hard time with praying sometimes. Sometimes it seems that no matter what I say it always seems to come out in a selfish way. Meaning – I can’t seem to pray for God’s will – I want what I want. No matter how much I say I want God’s will I still find myself begging God to let me have my way.

It has been a long journey for me to get to where I am today in my prayer life. I had to teach myself how to pray, then had to RE-teach myself how to pray when I realized that my prayers were rehearsed and not genuinely spoken from my heart. I tried using prayer formats like ACTS (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication) but have since found that I rather enjoy free form prayer – prayer where I am free to speak my mind and heart. God already knows my mind and heart, so why not just say it?

Of course, that brings me back to the original point of this article. My mind, my will, overrides my requests for God’s will in my life. The whole thought of getting my way is absolutely ludicrous to think of since I know for a fact that God’s plan is SO much better than any plan I could ever dream up for myself. Jeremiah 29:11 promises us that He has a plan for us – one that will not harm us but rather bring us hope and a future.

So why am I so selfish in praying when I know God has a plan? Why is it that I beg Him to let me have my way when I know His way is better? Why can’t I trust Him to provide for ALL of my needs and wants? I know He will do this, so why do I not pray for it and trust Him to do so?

Are you in the same boat as I am, paddling around in circles with only one oar? I cling to that oar in hopes that I will get myself somewhere rather than trusting in Him to get me there. Are you also clinging to that oar?

If you are then join me in letting go. Let go of the oar and fall to your knees in prayer. Let God provide for you in all ways. Just because you are letting go does not mean you still cannot pray – simply pray for His will to be done, not your own. Refrain from begging and pleading for your way (that’s going to be a hard one for me – I pray “God, let You be glorified and have Your way…. But please let your way be the same as my own!”).

I know that is what I am seeking to do – to learn more and focus on Him rather than myself. I am seeking to do His will. I will share more of my own struggles in learning to pray in future articles. Join me in becoming a prayer warrior devoted to God. See you next month

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