Author of Living Whole Without a Better Half
https://wendywidder.com/
By Trisha Bridges Smith
T4JYM: With the wealth of books on single living available, what made you decide to write another book? How has it been received by the public?
WW: Most of the books available at the time I wrote my book treated singleness like it was a disease to be cured or a sad condition of life to be waited out. I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t live a “real life” if I wasn’t married—not to mention, God seems to have a few things to say about that! 🙂 God has promised abundant life for ALL His children, with no marital strings attached. Singleness often feels like “Plan B,” and I want to be continually coming to see it as God’s Plan A. When I was writing Living Whole, I was also going through a “single valley” of my own and needed to discover that God is enough, no matter what.
Reception has been positive. For some people, the book has offered much needed relief and affirmation that singleness isn’t some kind of curse, but instead an incredible opportunity to make the most of life for God’s glory. I don’t think contentment with singleness means people have to give up their dream to be married, but we have to stop living like life is over if our dream isn’t realized. I’ve known a lot of single people who are waiting for life to start…and the reality is that life is passing them by while they’re waiting. I don’t offer pat answers and promises—God doesn’t either. The answers to our life’s “big questions” don’t usually have simple answers, nicely wrapped up for our understanding. Life is full of uncertainties and marriage is never a guarantee. But the presence & promises of God ARE a guarantee.
T4JYM: Do you have any further plans for writing?
WW: Yes! It’s something I hope I’m doing for the rest of my life. Olympic runner Eric Liddell once said he “felt God’s pleasure” when he ran because he knew he was doing something God had especially equipped him to do; I feel the same way about writing.
I’m currently finishing up a project that should be released by Kregel Publications in Spring 2003. It’s about the relationship between singles and the church. In a great number of churches, singles feel like misfits because everything is so focused on families. In our emphasis on families we’ve managed to downplay THE Family. I hope that my book can challenge familiar thinking and help both singles and churches understand the important relationship between them—and then take steps to see things change.
T4J: What training do you have in writing? Do you consider yourself to be a good writer with a God given talent? Or did you have to work to get to where you are now, taking classes on writing and such?
WW: My training includes a lot of loving elementary and high school teachers, a youth pastor who coached me through a contest, a college speech coach who encouraged me, and lots of sweet friends who read everything I write & tell me they love it. 😉 The only formal writing course I’ve taken, other than required classes in school, was a correspondence class through the Institute for Children’s Literature.
I taught elementary school for awhile, and ironically, the subject I most disliked was writing! Writing for me is more of an art than a science, and teaching it requires some solid “science.” I can’t always tell you WHY something works or sounds good—I just know it does.
T4JYM: How much time went into putting this book together? How much research did you have to do to write this book?
WW:The actual thinking & writing process took 2 years. However, I could not have written this book five years earlier because I needed to do some living before I could say what I did. Writing requires experience and personal growth—I have nothing of value to say to you if God hasn’t been working in my life through my day-to-day circumstances.
T4J: How did you get started in writing? How many times did you find your work was sent back to you before it was finally accepted by a publisher? Do you feel your connection with Kregel helped you to get your book published faster?
WW: I always knew I wanted to write, but how & where that worked itself out, I didn’t know. Basically, I explored several different areas in the process and tried to be faithful with what God had given me to do. When I was just out of college, I attended a writers’ conference—and that was the first time I realized that I needed to do some living before I had anything to say to people. So, I got busy living! Meanwhile, I took whatever ministry opportunities I had to use my writing. For years, I wrote a weekly newsletter for my singles class at church. I also published the newsletter at my church for several years. Pretty much, if something needed writing, I was there. 🙂
The spark that started my book was a friend who knew I was going through a really painful break-up. She told me I should write a book, and actually, I laughed at her. The last thing I wanted was to be an “expert” on singleness! But her words and the fact that I needed to work through the issues I was facing got me writing—and I realized I was on a spiritual journey that I needed to take, whether or not the book ever was published.
I sent out a few proposals and received a few rejections. 🙂 The Kregel connection actually came through a friend who wanted to see my book published and had the marketing savvy to do what I can’t. 🙂 I started working at Kregel after they published my book.
T4JYM: How do you go about editing your writing? Do you send it to people to read first, BEFORE you send it to publishers? How many times do you go in and change things?
WW: Definitely have people read it before it goes to a publisher! Now that I work for a publisher, I better appreciate what an author needs to do BEFORE they try to impress an editor! 🙂 As for how many times I go in and change—there’s not a good answer for that other than that I change it until it’s right. 🙂
T4JYM: Do you get a lot of feedback from the public? Do you respond to the people who contact you about your works?
WW: Feedback trickles in, and I do try to respond to those who contact me through the publisher.
T4JYM: What advice would you give to someone interested in pursuing writing as a career?
WW: Decide if you really want it as a career or something you do in your spare time. I don’t consider writing my career because I’ll never make a living doing it—I’m far too particular about what I want to write. This doesn’t mean it’s not important. When I was teaching, I told people that I taught to make a living, but I wrote to stay alive. I enjoy teaching, but I LOVE writing—it’s what’ll get me up in the morning when little else will!
If you want writing to be a career, especially freelance, you have to be willing to write anything—travel articles, personal interviews, news, etc. This isn’t a bad thing if it’s what you like.
Take all the opportunities you have now to use your writing—don’t wait for the “perfect opportunity.” God will shape & direct your path as you’re moving on it. 🙂 And be open to feedback. It’s hard for writers to let go of their words, but the objective opinion of another reader can go a long way in improving your writing.
T4JYM: Do you do any other kinds of writing? For example, magazine writing, devotions, etc.
WW: Right now I write research papers. 🙂 I’m working on a seminary degree, so that dictates much of how I use my time. I try to write articles for my church newsletter and things like that, but I’m not circulating/querying anything for the general public at this point.
T4JYM: What kind of activities do you like to do in your spare time?
WW: I’m definitely a reader. I’m a sucker for PBS documentaries, particularly historical ones. I like to scrapbook, go for long walks, have coffee with friends, and spend time with nieces & nephews.
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