by: Mandy Hughett
Q. How old do you need to be to date?
A. This can vary depending on what your beliefs are… but if you think about this you will find the answer. What is dating? Is it NOT trying to find a future spouse? I like how Rebecca St. James answered this in her book Wait For Me. If you are not going to be ready to get married in a few years, then you are not ready to date yet.
Q. How far can you go with your boyfriend or girlfriend?
A. This question can also be answered in different ways. But mainly, you should not go any further then kissing. Some people don’t think kissing is okay while dating, and that is great! But many people find that unreasonable and cant see a reason that you should wait for kissing. Either way is up to you. However, anything else beyond that point should remain OFF LIMITS. God wants us to wait for sex, and anything remotely close to that brings temptation to have sex. No playing around. No sex. God is did NOT tell us to wait because He wants to punish us…He said it to save us! Having sex before you are married can have consequences! For example, you could get pregnant. Not even protection can give you 100% guarantee! Did you EVER think of that? Read the backs of the condoms you think are protecting you. The makers are not 100% sure…so should you give trust in something that is not a for sure thing? Ok, so maybe you are a guy and don’t have to worry about this! But there is also STDs! Don’t even say you don’t have a chance of getting them-because you do! Everyone who has sex is at risk!! So stay safe. Stay away from sex until you are married!!
Q. I like this guy who’s 30 and I am 15. Is that ok?
A. Let me think… you are 15 years old and dating. This guy you have a crush on (think about…it’s a crush), is thirty years old. Wow. That is quite a bit of an age difference. My advice to this question is to wait until you are at the very least, twenty years old. If you BOTH still feel something, then maybe, just maybe, it was meant to be. But that will take lots of thinking and even more of praying. Pray very hard about this.
Q. My parents don’t like my boy/girl friend and are forcing me to stop dating him. Is this ok?
A. What do you think? One of the Ten Commandments is Honor Thy Mother And Father. You need to honor this commandment. But if you really have prayed about this situation and still feel like you and the person you are dating are supposed to be together, talk to your parents about it. Ask if you can invite your friend over (your hopefully EX bf/gf) so your parents will get to know him/her better. Ask your parents why they don’t approve of him/her. Listen to their advice. If you two are meant to be together, eventually you will be.
Q. How do I get the guy I like…to like me back?
A. God has a guy in mind for you already! If the guy you like doesn’t like you back, maybe its because you two are not supposed to be together. God doesn’t make mistakes! If you two are going to be together, eventually you will be. Don’t waste time trying to get the guy you like to like you back. If you do waste your time doing that, you will end up being someone you aren’t, and the guy may begin to like you back…but wouldn’t he really like someone else? It would NOT be real. So just take your time…and don’t worry about trying to MAKE someone like you.
Q. The person I like is not a Christian. Is that ok?
A. No. Now I am not trying to sound like I am closed-minded. But I am going to give you advice with a Biblical point of view. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Try to share Gods word with this person before trying to be romantic with him/her. Pray for him/her. If he/she does not have any desire to learn or become a Christian, then its probably best you two just remain friends. God has someone in mind for you and will not put you with someone who is of a different faith.
Q. I made a mistake of giving my virginity away. Will God forgive me?
A. Good news! Everyone makes mistakes and God will forgive you of anything! But just because you made this mistake once, does not mean its ok to make it twice. God forgives you, but don’t just USE God! Stay abstinent until you keep married. It will keep you out of trouble.
Q. I got caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing with my boyfriend and my parents grounded me. Is that fair??
A. Totally! Are you asking this question because you want something to go back to your parents with? Being a teenager myself, I know it’s hard to believe sometimes that your parents are right. But the fact is, they are! If you know you shouldn’t have gone that far with your boyfriend, why did you? Temptation? Know your limits and stick to them!
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