Good Relationships Aren’t Automatic

by Barry Hancock

People on short-term mission trips are often impressed with the caliber of Christians they meet. But good relationships with career missionaries and national Christians aren’t automatic. Here are six tips to help you build fulfilling relationships with your new coworkers on the mission field.

1. Work on Good Communication
   One skill you’ll need is good communication. Read all you can about clear communication and solid relationships. Study the skills you’ll need, and apply them as you learn to work comfortably with both the nationals and the missionaries you serve.
2. Be a Good Guest
   Living arrangements for short-termers vary widely. If you’re living with nationals, inquire what your hosts expect of you. If you’re living with missionaries, apply the same courtesies you’d expect of a house guest in your own home. In either situation, look for ways to lend a hand.
3. Develop a Tolerance for Diversity
   Missionaries and national Christians are human. Be slow to judge. It’s easy to give negative labels to things that are simply different. There’s a natural craving for the familiar in strange surroundings. When a person’s relational style is unfamiliar, it’s easy to reject the person as well.
4. Make Allowances for Stress
   Stress is inevitable. But keep in mind that your hosts face challenges too. Although it may take a while to understand their pressure points, you can be sure they have them. Your visit – while an avenue of blessing – also brings added demands on their time and energy. Pray for special grace for all of you.
5. Recognize “Third-Culture” People
   The best career missionaries adopt their new cultures and move between cultures with relative ease. Some even incorporate elements from both cultures into a personal hybrid. Because of this, their styles may not be what you expect. You may struggle to feel “at home” with them, and even misread them.

   In addition, career missionaries usually can’t keep track of trends in their “home” culture while they’re away. You may be suprised when they don’t understand the latest jargon or important issue from home. Societal attitudes and values change too. You may be shocked by something like a casual comment about the consumption of whale meat – a cultural taboo based in your home culture that you would find insensitive.

6. Learn to Withold Judgement
   Your short-term trip will affect you deeply and take months to process. Save your conclusions for later. You may think one person is “too aloof” and another “doesn’t get much done,” but hold these opinions lightly. Sort them out when you get back to your home.

Remember your intuition won’t serve you the way it does at home. It may help you “read” folks in your own culture, but expect it to be unreliable in your new setting – especially when you first arrive. An embarassed grin in one culture looks different in another. Laughter has different meanings, too. It can take years to understand these subtleties. And don’t presume you can “read” a veteran missionary who speaks your language and once lived in your culture. You can’t be certain which embarassed smile that “third culture” person uses.

You can build deep, enriching relationships with the national Christians and career missionaries you meet. Ask God to help you approach them with love and sensitivity. Remember your role as a short-term missionary – to learn and to serve.

Good Relationships Aren’t Automatic
Written By Barry Hancock
Summer and Special Short-term Coordinator for TEAM
Pg 82-83, The Short-Term Missions Handbook, First Edition © 1992 Berry Publishing Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

*** Teens4Jesus would like that thank the Short Term Mission Handbook for allowing permission to use this article. ***

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